Difficult days...gentler ways...André Thomas

Dr. André Thomas, Me, Dr. Allen Hightower

In the above photo, you see two men who have served as my choir directors in my lifetime. While at FSU, I sang with André Thomas, and I sang in Allen Hightower's church choir in Waco, Texas. Both men are incredible musicians, and I was constantly inspired to be a better musician, choir member, choral singer, and yes...a better person.  It was a privilege to sing for both of these wonderful men. They both are extraordinary musicians and people.

This week, my thoughts have been on the contributions to my life by André Thomas regarding  inclusiveness, awareness of racial inequalities, and openness to dialogue. This has been a tough week for many, but most of all, for the family of George Floyd. With Floyd's death has come renewed visibility and protest of racial discrimination, along with a renewed commitment to ensure that justice and change come about soon. Thank God for cell phones and videos, as citizens are now able to document acts of violence, injustice, and racism in our society so that evidence exists. It is time for these horrible acts of injustice to end. It's easy....just STOP. These acts have never accomplished one good thing. I've noticed over my lifetime that anything that emanates from a place of hatred and bigotry works that way. It is bad in every way, so it must STOP. There is no need for hatred. There is no place for hate.

When I look at my friend André in the above photo, the timing of the photo was only a few months after my husband's death. We took photos, because in his words, "Portia needs to know that you are okay." Portia Thomas is André's wife, whom I consider a dear friend as well. André and Portia care about me and my well-being. We have been in touch with each other throughout our lives, each cheering the other on in every way possible. André and Portia know I am always "for" them, and I know the same good wishes are there for me as well.

When I look in my Bible, I find a letter André wrote me a couple of days before I had some serious skin cancer surgery several years ago....back in the 90s. Why don't I take it out of my Bible? I really don't know, but it comforts me to this day to remember the kindness of my friend. He was busily conducting Texas All-State,  but he went back to his hotel room and wrote a comforting letter to me. He is for me in every good aspect of my well-being.

In a private conversation during my doctoral years, Dr. Thomas discussed with me the fact that someone is unable to understand the effects of racism in our society, unless one has walked in the shoes of those on the receiving end of such. Isn't that interesting? As an educator, I have a need to understand. As a choral director, conducting African-American spirituals, I want to understand how one would feel to sing these songs as an African-American, but I will never know...because I am not an African-American. I will never know. It is sobering to realize that fact.

So...how have I proceeded? First, I acknowledge that fact. Then...I do whatever I am able to do to make a difference in my corner of the world. Sometimes progress begins with a conversation. This week, I have called, texted, and emailed African-American friends from Jacksonville to Los Angeles. One of the things that the situation this week has made incredibly clear to me is that silence must not be the response from the Anglo community. We don't know what to say, so we say nothing! No wonder our brothers and sisters are thinking their lives don't matter at all! We do not say anything! We just let it "play out." Really? That is not the way I was treated by Dr. Thomas.

This week has made me commit in a huge way to the fact that I will not be silent.  When injustice is present, I will not be silent. It will not happen. We are in this together with our brothers and sisters, and the truth is that my friend André Thomas has never stayed silent when I needed him. He was there. He was supportive. He listened with the most gentle tone in his voice, and he often encouraged me to think about a new way, a new day, a new beginning. Dr. Thomas has done this one person at a time, and I am certain that hundreds of choral singers in this world have unique stories to tell of his kind benevolence.

We give thanks for all of those teachers in our lives who taught us more than notes, rhythms, expressive elements, historical facts, stylistic elements. We give thanks for those teachers who cared enough about us to help us become better human beings. They teach us how to love and care, simply by demonstrating gentle kindness.

This, too, shall pass!

Don't you love the sentiment displayed in this wall decor? We all want to display this or something similar on our walls these days, because we want this isolation, restriction, and inconvenience in our lives to be over!! Not that we wanted to go any place specific, but we just can't even do the little things that we now know brought us sanity, peace, and joy (good to know, huh?). I looked at myself in the mirror before going to the grocery store. Only a space suit from NASA would have protected me more (the future?). However, we are all kind and smart enough to know the destructive path of this virus might also take us or our loved ones on a journey that would be much worse than the inconvenience of today.

The wall plaque above was a gift to my mother upon her retirement from 30 years of teaching. Some of you can relate. At a certain point, it really becomes attractive to "pass the torch." For some reason, a bit of the fun, joy, and strength just cannot be found to continue on, so we make other choices and do other things. "To everything there is a season." Mom was retired for 30+ years afterward, and she was busier than ever.

These are the days we would love to have "pass." If I heard my Mom say, "This too shall pass" once in my lifetime, she must have said it 1,000 times. It's life....there are some situations, seasons, and extended experiences that are just flat unpleasant. That's just the "long-short-fat-thin" of it! We don't know if we are doing the "right thing" for our health by....going for a walk, ordering carry-out from a restaurant, etc. My pastor said something a couple of weeks ago that meant the world to me. Dr. Steve Wells at South Main Baptist Church quoted Dan Yeary, his late father-in-law, who said: "When you don't know what to do, do what you know, until you know what to do."

That seems to be what we are all doing these days...to the point that we are actually re-inventing church, school, business, social gatherings, and any number of activities that involve other people. We don't get to actually share space with other people, but we can see them. Options for the day: We can grieve...we can whine...we can get angry...we can blame...we can respond to this inconvenience with any number of behaviors. Thankfully, I have several friends who are always looking for the "silver lining." In this experience, it might be a struggle to find it easily. However, to get through this, for the sake of sanity and health, I think we must find it.

Families are actually spending time together, looking eye-to-eye, and continuing to participate in many events together...in their living rooms. Leaders are re-inventing ways of doing things. My husband started using "Zoom" 4-5 years ago, when a seminary where he was teaching went totally online. He held class in the guest bedroom of our home via computer, and those students interacted with him just as if they were within walls together. I never dreamed that I would be "Zooming" one day, but Zoom has been the life-blood of social gatherings in these times of re-invention.

A couple of days ago, I was "Zooming" with Dr. Tom Shelton and his choir at Westminster Choir College as I discussed my 2-Part Playground Tunes with his 3rd and 4th graders in New Jersey. Sooo much fun. They were totally delightful. I was reminded that many, many aspects of who we are as choral musicians are taught by insightful, competent educators like Tom. He was teaching students how to listen, ask questions, and think about the music they are singing. They also sang it at the beginning of the session. I loved it.

So...how do we get through this season of life? Take a look at how our profession has changed already. Anyone "not so secure" with technology has turned over an unimaginable leaf that puts "technology" at the top of the list. It's true. This new direction is not only in the education community, but also in the church. The Sanctuary Choir at South Main just had a virtual choir performance of Handel's "Hallelujah" appear on NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt (Easter). I just happened to be watching NBC news by chance (I'm a David Muir fan), and was totally freaked out when I saw our church organist Yuri McCoy appear on the screen. It was a miracle! My computer and television somehow had become miraculously linked. Okay...I haven't put in the effort for such, but you can understand why I was totally confused. The point: it was a new way of doing things that was obviously unique enough to get some attention nationally. Notice, I did not say it was an easy way of doing things. It is too new at the moment. Everyone seemed to be stretched in their musical independence and technological abilities. Me? I had given away or discarded three sets of earphones a year ago before I moved to Texas. I had never needed them through THREE iPhones, so why would I ever need them?? Okay...I needed them. So...you won't see me in the virtual choir performance. It appears at the end of the Easter webcast at www.smbc.org.

One of the main things that might be of the greatest value in this isolation: we are discovering the gifts of those around us. Gifts we had no idea existed. Gifts that individuals are not hesitant to use for the "greater good." Maybe...just maybe...it develops a greater respect for those with whom we work...for those with whom we worship...and for those whom we see as leaders. In many situations, I have witnessed amazing leadership such as I have never witnessed before. It has been heartening.

What do we do going forward? We know that we can do this thing called social distancing, because most of us are doing it. We value our lives and those around us enough to sacrifice, because the unknown sounds so darn unpleasant. Until we have a little more clarity about the situation where we are in regard to COVID-19, "If you don't know what to do, do what you know, until you know what to do."

Life may never return to "normal," but in some cases, we must ask ourselves, "Would we really want that?" Outrageous demands that occurred after 9/11 have now become routine. Is it good? Of course! It has been necessary. We have felt safer because of many restrictions. So...we embrace whatever is wise to keep us and our loved ones healthy for the future. Changes in policies, restrictions, and impositions will become routine as well, I suppose.

So...we continue on until those who know more than we know make decisions based on facts from their expertise, experience, and moral regard for humanity.

Until then, we will celebrate the day when we can say: